Surviving a 3.5 year-old and other stories

Boy: Don’t shout, ony talk!
Me: I am talking.
Boy: No you are shoutalking.

***

 

Driving back from Dahanu:
Boy: look, dadda mountain!
Me: where’s mamma mountain?
Boy: mamma mountain has gone to get the baby mountain.

***

 

Conversation at weekend play date:
Boy: hi puppy
Girl: please don’t call my dog a puppy. Aunty, he called Scamp a puppy.
Boy: my cats are cats
Girl: my dogs are dogs.

***

 

A very short story:
Two cocodilings was there.
Cinderella and Anderella.
Cinderella was hungry.
So she ate Anderella.
Finish.

***

 

Mamma, childwen don’t cwy, ony babies cwy.
So what are you?
I am a childwen.

***

 

Scene: 8 am. Breakfast done. Teeth brushed. Tiffin, water bottle, napkin packed. School bag ready. Clothes out. Now, to get dressed:

I want to wear banyan and pajamas.
But it’s cold, you can’t wear banyan and pajamas. You must something that keeps you warm.
Then I want to wear clothes.
But these are clothes (pointing to helpless pile of full sleeved tshirt, jumper, jeans, socks and shoes)
But I want to wear other clothes.
BUT WE ARE LATE ALREADY. AND THESE ARE NICE.
Then don’t be angry.
Then don’t be whiny.
But you are being angry.
But you are being whiny.
But I don’t want to wear shoes. I want to wear angry birds chappal.
But we can’t wear chappal to school. Also, chappal will make you feel colder.
But you are being angry again!
WE WILL MISS THE BUS!!!!

…..and so I live life, one tea cup after another. Thank god I don’t smoke.

***

 

Boy gets off the school bus and announces, “Mamma we must watch ony leetle teevee. We must not watch so much teevee.”
Oh, I say.
We walk up three flights and he says, “Now put leetle teevee!”

***

 

Today we missed the bus because Eeyore wanted a happy tailun(tail) and Aalun(owl) went to get it and so we had to wait.

Yesterday, Barbie and her mommy wanted to go skating on the sofas and chairs and the cats refused to move, so we had to wait.
The day before, Barbie and her mommie wanted to have a cup of tea, so we had to lay the table, get the china out and serve them from a pot, like Simone does.
The day before that, the donkey wanted to be purple, so we had to paint him, like we do at Sai’s house.
The day before that, Barbie wanted to color her hair pink, and Prachi wasn’t there, so we had to do it ourselves.
The day before that, we realised that Akee’s drums were feeling sad, so we had to play them.

It’s not like we don’t want to go to school. But there are other important things that haffto be done.

 

“Look, white sun has come. Then yellow sun will come, then clouds will come, then their mammas and daddas will come, then moon will come, then sun will go home to his mamma and dadda, then stars and dark will come.”

The universe explained by a 3-year old.

 

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6 thoughts on “Surviving a 3.5 year-old and other stories

  1. Hahahahaha… He sounds quite a bit like my 3 year old. I wish I was as patient as u are… Loved the one about u not being a smoker, that does say it all. I drink cup after cup of coffee..! My 3 year old wants to swing on the curtains before going to school because the curtains look lonely.. She also says ony a LOT. Your writing always brings a smile to my face… Thank you.

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