Conversations that became Facebook updates for no particular reason

Yesterday, boy and I counted autorickshaws while waiting for the bus.
Today, we counted cars.
Sooomany are there, he said.
Right.

**

The firecrackers have started.
Boy is concerned.

“Mamma, they are dooving firefighters. I am getting scared. The window is getting scared. The building is getting scared. Bravo and Nadia are also getting scared.”
He goes to the window and shouts at no one in particular, “Children. Children. Stop this I say. Otherwise I am going to be very angwy.”
Turns to cat. “Bravo, don’t worry, I will beat them!”

Diwali is a week away. Now I am worried too.

**

Boy spills water on the sofa.
I bellow. “Look what you did to my sofa!!”
“Wait..wait.. I’ll get you a new sofa,” he says.
“But do you have money?” I ask.
He runs and gets his coin box, opens it and thrusts it into my face. “See, so many moneys I have. Come, let’s buy a new sofa.”

**

Breakfast negotiations:

Boy: Can I watch Max and Ruby?
Me: It’s morning time and morning time is not for TV.
Boy: But I am asking nicely no? See? NICELY!
Me: Okay, but only for ten minutes, and only after you finish your ragi and milk.
Boy: (mouths down two scoops too big for his mouth): See, I finished my ragi.
Me: What about the milk?
Boy: Do you want the remote? Should I give you the remote?
Me: I said you have to finish your ragi and milk and wash your mouth and then we can watch it.

Boy (slurps the milk down, gets a nice milk moustache, and licks it clean with his lips ): See mamma, I can wash the ragi with the milk and it will go away.Ugh! Boys!
**
I meet boy’s teacher today. She tells me he doesn’t listen to her. That he often ignores her. Later at home I ask boy why. He says, “But she is not listening to me also.”
**
I tell boy it’s naani’s birthday today.
We call naani.
Boy sings… “Happy birday choo you.. happy birday to naani.. and happy mess too!”
He pauses. “Naani, you are thwee years old today.” *claps* “One, two, thwee!”
Naani is overwhelmed. “No Rehu, I am 69 years old!”
Boy too lazy to clap anymore. Says, “That’s sooomany, Naani!”
**
Sibling rivalry unfolds
Re: Mamma, Nadia has no hands (points to the resident feline)
Me: But she has four legs and you have only two.
Re: But she can’t dwink chocolate milkshake with a stwaw! (looks very pleased there is no competition)
Me: But she can climb on top of the cupboard. Can you?
Re: I don’t want to climb on the cupboard!
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One thought on “Conversations that became Facebook updates for no particular reason

  1. u always get me to smile :0

    no actually the boy does…

    btw that idea about telling him about climbing cupboards wasnt too bright… I hope he doesnt get competitive.

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