Age three: Of mindfucks and other games

Somewhere around age three, children gather enough vocabulary and spunk to get back at you in a way they know best. Which normally involves twisting something you said or taking it out of context to say something that will solely be of benefit to them. It also is largely intended to imply that they are not babies anymore and you can just fool them with words, as they have all the armour to decode it. They also learn the art of the subtext around this age, that is they say things without saying them, which is a bit of the mind-fuck as you are just not ready for this level of verbal politics.

So here is a ready reckoner from my life to decode what they mean from what they say:

What they say and what they mean:

Re: Lion was not wearing a tie today!
(What he means: Why the fuck did you put a tie on me? I felt ridiculous!)

 
Re: Ritushi didn’t come today. And Shaurya didn’t come. And Mahek didn’t come. And Kwishna didn’t come. And Adlai didn’t come!
(What he means: Why the fuck was I sent to school when others bunked?)

 
Re: Chhotabeeem and Raju are being nangu.
(What he means: Why do I have to wear clothes?)

Re: I want dadda!

(What he means: I have had enough of the controlling you and I would rather be around someone who is okay with me not bathing or brushing or going to school)

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3 thoughts on “Age three: Of mindfucks and other games

  1. Ayan : Jab tak light aati hai , main cycle chala leta hoon phir main aapka iphone lelunga..Theeeek Hai ?

    what he means : For God sake dont start using it as have already pre-booked much before you even think of touching it

    Ayan : Aaaj to I have no thrrrroat problem ..Hai na Mumma ??

    What he means : That big candy is all mine and i declare my health fitness level early morning itself

    Ayan : Bring woh Big wali chot car and red wali hite car

    What he means : In case you are dumbo ..Will repeat that I need 5 cars ..white , red , small and Big and one combined features wali bhi

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