Run, mommy, run: Fast-forward mommies and fast-forward babies

A funny thing happens to women when they come out (it almost sounds like coming out of the closet) post baby.  A new mommy’s first few days out (when she has managed to get help/ bull-dozed daddy to baby-sit/ manipulated her mother/mother-in-law/expressed for the feeds ahead/charmed a friend that baby-sitting is a cool thing to do) sound a bit like this:

You look lovely!

No, I am so fat!

No really, you do.

No, I am still eight kilos over my pre-pregnancy weight.

But you look great.

No, I need to lose weight.

I love what you are wearing.

It’s all layers, to camouflage my belly.

The new mommy feels a bit dazed, while she is still coping with the fact that her body looks nowhere close to what it used to look like. It’s as though while she was away giving birth, the young have got younger, the slim have got slimmer and the hot have got hotter. She feels apologetic about her figure, which according to me has no business to get so svelte so soon, unless you are a Hollywood stick insect feeding on raisins.  So she sounds all apologetic, and defensive. Oh my god, I am so overweight, and I have to get back into shape, and how the baby leaves me time for nothing.

I recently met a mommy who said she had just been resurrected. I was trying to compute how long she’d been out of circulation when she told me her baby was five months. I told her she looked great. She reminded me she was wearing black.

Now, no one tells you this, but every woman looks pregnant for a few weeks/months even after giving birth because even after you pop the baby out, the uterus still takes time to shrink. So unless you have spent a few lakhs on tummy tucks, you will look like women who have given birth look.

At a recent lunch, a few singletons who were ‘trying’ to lose weight were talking about a fancy boutique yoga class. Now since I am a no-frills, Iyengar Yoga person and don’t believe in five-star yoga, I, as usual put my foot in my mouth and said it was all balderdash. Or some such.

I was then told that it’s run by a certain Bollywood stick insect’s yoga teacher.

But the new mommy was all ears. Really? Where is it? What are the timings? I would love to join.  I must join. I must do something.

Another one bites the dust, I thought.

And then I wondered. Why are mommies in such a hurry? First you wait nine months (and for some, many years before that) to give birth and then you want your life back in three?

The sad thing is, the fast-forwardness percolates into everything baby too. By the time the baby has barely latched on, you want to know how soon you can feed solids. By the time you feed solids, you want to know how soon they can walk. By the time they get on to their feet, you want to know when they will start talking.

And then, one fine day, you complain that you miss them being babies.

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12 thoughts on “Run, mommy, run: Fast-forward mommies and fast-forward babies

  1. Loved this post. Right now I am a waddling 35 week pregnant woman who cannot get enough of her baby’s kicks and movements. I keep telling myself I am in no hurry to get him out, or have him all grown up, but I am not sure how I would feel about my expanded girth continuing to be so months after birth. One step at a time I guess.

  2. Well, I think a few things in different stages of life are infectious, like getting back in shape, pushing the baby to eat solids, trying to train her/him to recite those rhymes, etc…in a nutshell, trying to fit in a slot. So these thoughts mostly are not thought by the women but are followed fads….because the neighbors’ kid is already doing it or my should should always be the “Numero Uno” !!

    I think this blog should be circulated to maximum moms to encourage them to think and believe in what “They” think about “Their” situation and have conviction in their thinking!
    Like it Lalita 🙂

    • Thanks Amruta! I just want to urge women to get in touch with ‘their’ feelings, and stop following what is the norm in everything.. happy to have the blog circulated! The more, the merrier!

  3. Liked the post very much.I could not take care of myself after my daughter’s birth(3.5yrs)My family n friends are not happy as I am not putting efforts to reduce weight .As per my routine i do not hv time to work out, goto beauty parlour n shop for myself.Iam happy to see my daughter growing .

  4. There is one sure shot way to lose weight post baby, go through massive trauma or life changes. I went back to pre-baby weight in 12 weeks since I was in the US with no help (actually my dad came but he has had zero previous experience with managing house or baby) and had to move house six weeks after a C – section while caring for a jaundiced baby. The only other person that lost weight really quickly was a friend who separated from her spouse 6 weeks after baby was born due to abuse. It takes something like that to put weight loss in perspective.

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