Birthday parties and all that jazz

So the boy was run over (again) a few days ago. Not by another child, as he usually is, but by a mommy this time. Can’t blame her. She had trouble carrying her own weight and that of her toddler as she ran about in a game at a birthday party trying to win points for him. So what was my son doing in her way, one might ask? Why couldn’t I just look out for him? These things happen all the time, right?

Was she sorry? At least she didn’t say so.

I don’t understand kiddie birthday parties these days.  Little girls are dressed like Kareena Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra and throw the same attitude. Little boys look like rap stars, their collars all fluffed up and hair rearranged asymmetrically. At a recent birthday party, one had  Batman carved on his skull as his new haircut. Another had the Ghajini cut. There was Bollywood music (nothing wrong with that), but do two year olds really have to listen to Sheila ki jawani if you can help it?  And the music levels would put any night club to shame. Is this decibel okay, I asked. Someone shrugged. Strangely no one was complaining. The parents seemed to be having as much fun as the kids.

One 3-year old girl put up a stellar performance of  Munni Badnaam hui that would make Malaika Arora blush, and I was confused whether I should congratulate her (this could be the beginning of a great career in Bollywood) or have a word with her parents. I then realised I should stay mum, considering the enemies I have already made for voicing my opinion.

On the counter for the toddlers was coke, chips, pizza and burgers.  Arguably, this was a fast-forward generation suitably fortified by fast food. Me and mine felt like aliens.

At another birthday party, a magician performed more pelvic thrusts than tricks (on more Bollywood), and pulled out baby mice and pigeons from his hat  (PETA, are you listening?) while the children clapped. They clapped some more when he pretended to milk little boys (who happily volunteered) from under their shirts and fill imaginary water from their taps (go figure!) into his magic glasses, which he then drank (gross!). Everyone laughed. I shuddered.

Clearly, I have had a child in the wrong era.  I vented this out to one of the sane mommies I know, and she said, “Grin and bear it. This is just the beginning.”

I am in a village now, trying  to recover. Sorry for the break.

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12 thoughts on “Birthday parties and all that jazz

  1. Hey there, thank god, there is somebody who thinks like me..what you said was right..we have had the babies in the wrong generation..such gross acts..by everyone including the MC and the magician..and parents who encourage their children to dance to the vulgar numbers..god knows what is the way forward..and if it really exists for us..sane moms..or are we??

  2. day by day i think people’s brain size is shrinking!!!!!!
    do we really stop and think(at least maybe once forget twice) before we do something???
    i guess this centuries motto seams to be “follow the crowd”
    win the Rat race baby just win it…who cares if you end up being a RAT ???? it is a very very important thing that you have WON the rat race and stood FIRST ………
    and pl don’t worry even i am always a misfit everywhere 🙂 😀

  3. Hey ! It wasnt that bad and kids do enjoy that. And some things are kept keeping in mind older kids. My or your little one woudnt even understand all this and there were totally different activities for them. If its a mix crowd of kids you need to balance the activities.
    Thats all I feel..

  4. Its funny how all these party organizers come up with the exact same act, same games, same music everywhere. I attended two IDENTICAL parties within a week of each other. People are just happy outsourcing everything these days. The whole “personal touch” has vanished. Kids are growing up looking forward to go to birthday parties just to win prizes at mindless games.
    My sons, who aren’t used to such loud music and dancing, are the misfits at such places. We have often left within 10 minutes of entering a party with my 5-yr old saying “But why are we here? I don’t want to be here, I’m not having fun.” I’m running out of excuses to cook up for having to leave so quickly.

    On the other hand, I was thrilled to hear about one birthday “party” where the parents of the birthday boy gathered about 6-8 kids and took them to Borivili National Park.
    So there is hope! 🙂
    Hang in there!!

  5. Hey there! I shudder when this boy does his dance moves to the beats of Asianet’s Idea Star Singer, which normally blares out in every self respecting Mallu’s house. Thankfully, Sheila’s jawani has not touched him yet. Considering his mum is a recluse, he doesn’t get invited to too many such birthday parties (at least not as yet).

    I was totally flabbergasted when a close family relative narrated how kids loved the song “Sheila ki jiwani” and one of her kids’ friends now only responds to being called Sheila!

    Shudder.

  6. this is real funny.. I could easily accuse you to have stolen my thoughts. Anyways i love our Bollywood songs and esp sheela ke jawani .. my son ( 2 yr ) is into Barney , Handy Many and Micky has suddenly got the hang of bollywood music lately since they play it everywhere v go .. although he still prefers his shows . he is totally entertained when sheela ke jawani is on .. i laugh it off.. as long as he tries to fix things like Manny, or recognizes Micky char from books i wont worry ..

    good luck with ur blog ..m loving it ..

  7. I agree… It’s really quite scary for me to see this . I personally think all this bollywood entertainment for kids so little is going to be the end of us. I could totally do without shiela and munni kind of entertainment for adults even. Let alone little kids.

    • It gets worse. One party I went to had the mc addressing the boys (between 3 and 10 year-olds) as “come on, hrithiks, salmans and shahids, take off your shirts and lets see your muscles.” The kids did! The parents watched. I was shocked!
      I think it’s very important to give the right brief to party organisers, if you are outsourcing. Can’t trust them to be in tune with your sensibilities.

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